RED!
with the blood of christ!
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
CNY.
/4:36 PM

Chinese New Year is in Jan this year, and today I found a flyer regarding some stoopid yusheng thingy in my letterbox...

CNY has been below average, dreadful, and at most average for me. Sometimes I just wish that CNY never existed, so I don't have to go through all thehustle and bustle of it all.

Try having your dad quarelling and bitching about your grandma when she comes and stay at our house, and try having your dad throwing tantrems and refusing to visit his siblings' houses. Mostly because of a stupid argument everyone got into when I was just 6.

And try visinting your relatives' houses when you are like... so far away from them, and only see them at most a few times a year. It really is a chore, because the entire family has just fell apart and disintergrated so much, that those people that I see every year are like strangers to me.

And my grandmother will probably come and live with us for the 2 to 3 days. I don't hate her, but I think she does have a bad impression of me. And we're like seperated by a language barrier, mainly becuz my chinese sucks.

Anyways, there isn't much to look out to for CNY, except the 2 days holiday I will receive. However, in the name of CHINESE TRADITIONS (bleaugh), i shall have visit all my relatives... AGAIN.

--------------------------------------

Finally, a message specially for xq:

I made up my mind. The hike wasn't that regrettable... =DD

Labels:

Sunday, December 21, 2008
are you sitting comfortably?
/4:42 PM


Kingdom Of Comfort- Delirious?

Save me save me
From the kingdom of comfort where I am king
From my unhealthy lust of material things

I built myself a happy home
In my palace on my own
My castle falling in the sand
Pull me out, please grab my hand
I just forgot where I came from

Save me save me
From the kingdom of comfort where I am king
From my unhealthy lust of material things

I rob myself of innocence
With the poison of indifference
I buy my stuff at any cost
A couple of clicks and I pay the price
Coz what I gain is someone else's loss

Save me save me
From the kingdom of comfort where I am king
From my unhealthy lust of material things

Instrumental/Lament

Save me save me
From the kingdom of comfort where I am king
To this kingdom of heaven where you are king

--------------------------------------------------------------

Here's something to chew on: Are you building a Kingdom Of Comfort?

I don't think I need to draw any comparisms to us and other people around the globe. (Africa always kenna this kind of comparisms XD).

It's really sad that while we're singing about God's goodness, God's mercy, there are people out there who haven't even heard about God and are literally starving to death.

We house ourselves in our own kingdom, while proclaiming that we are actually serving God. We have festivals, traditions, beliefs, blessings, fellowship, conferences, sermons, congregations, you name it, we have it... yet the poor, opressed, enslaved, disturbed, the people who really need to know about God are left behind. They are left in the lurch to suffer, while we all benefit from being in this 'kingdom' of ours.

Its quite ironic that we are supposed to be the light of the world, yet we often isolate ourselves from the ostracised, from the isolated, from the heartbroken, from those who really need to know God. And we still dare to call ourselves the light of the world?

It's time to destroy the kingdom, this 'clique' of ours. It really is.

------------------------------------------------

Christmas is approaching, and I'm sure Toys R Rus will be packed with children begging their parents to buy them all sorts of toys.

It's funny how the 'joys of materialism' can strike people at such a young age.

Labels:

Tuesday, December 2, 2008
time flies.
/2:41 PM

Time really flies.

It's already 1st December 2nd December... and if you loook at your calenders, you'll realise that there's only about 30 days before school starts again... sighs.

Not that I hate school alot, but it's kinda depressing when you realise that you only have 30 days left, and still have quite alot of undone homework, and when you get back to school it's gonna be another year of mugging, preparing for exams etc.

At the end of the holidays, I'm gonna ask myself this question: In the holidays, did you use your time wisely?

I can already predict that the answer: NO.

And oh yeah, if you're feeling depressed after realising that there's soo little time left, SNAP OUT OF IT. GO DO SOMETHING USEFUL.

Labels:

Saturday, November 29, 2008
random-ness.
/10:15 PM

The idea behind this post has gone for a long vacation, leaving poor renjie in the lurch.

In other words, I FORGOT WHAT I WANTED TO WRITE ABOUT.

Anyways, I heard that Chinese Democracy was banned in China. Anyone wanna explain why? I'm soooo confused. =D

-------------------------------------------------

http://www.petitiononline.com/cutiepie/petition.html

This is a classic example of generalisation.

Just because the author of this petition has seen several pornographic anime, he calls for all anime to be banned. What about those totally innocent anime series, like D-Gray Man?

It's also very funny that people want this to be banned, that to be banned, all in the name of 'bad influence'. Note that I'm not saying that certain stuff like porn should not be banned.

I think one day people will start banning each other, just because they are supposedly 'bad influences'. Then the earth will soon become desolate, because everyone would have been banned, in some way or another...

Labels: ,

Friday, November 28, 2008
end of an obsession.
/6:22 PM

I'm wasting my time by blogsurfing and reading uncyclopedia articles.


This has to stop.

Seriously.

Labels:

down with cancer!
/10:09 AM

My 170th post... =D

Anyways, check out the lyrics to Cancer by My Chemical Romance:


Turn away,
If you could get me a drink
Of water 'cause my lips are chapped and faded
Call my aunt Marie
Help her gather all my things
And bury me in all my favorite colors,
My sisters and my brothers, still,
I will not kiss you,
'Cause the hardest part of this is leaving you.

Now turn away,
'Cause I'm awful just to see
'Cause all my hairs abandoned all my body,
Oh, my agony,
Know that I will never marry,
Baby, I'm just soggy from the chemo
But counting down the days to go
It just ain't living
And I just hope you know

That if you say (if you say)
Goodbye today (goodbye today)
I'd ask you to be true (cause I'd ask you to be true)

'Cause the hardest part of this is leaving you
'Cause the hardest part of this is leaving you

Let me just say that I disagree with practically everything in this song. It's like... even if you have cancer, who gives you the right to tell the people who care for you, the people who love you to 'turn away'?

Anyways, this song just reeks of negativeity. (sp?) Even if you have cancer in its final stage, and all hope seems to be lost, why be so negative? Even if your days are numbered, why not spend the rest of your days with a POSTIVE attitude, instead of languishing in despair and... just telling everyone who cares for you to 'turn away', jsut because you are 'awful just to see'? I'm sure that if you are really in such a situation, and you tell people to just go away, none of them will listen. They will still care for you, and LOVE you just the same.

I think that the usual response to this song would be something like this, "No, I will NEVER leave you." Someone told me that "You are NEVER alone", in response to my post on how screwed my family was. [nosarcasm]How very true.[/nosarcasm]

Labels: ,

Thursday, November 27, 2008
worlds apart.
/9:27 PM

Sometimes I find that even my supposedly BEST friends are like... worlds apart from me.

I differ from those people in quite alot of aspects... including the way I think, the way I see things as compared to them.

I'm not blaming them; don't get me wrong.

This is just a comment. =D


Differences can tear people away from each other, but I WON'T ALLOW IT TO HAPPEN.

--------------------------------------

Words. They can put people down, or make their day.

Today, someone made my day... just by saying a couple of VERY simple yet powerful sentences... I'll leave you to figure out who that person is. =D

To that person, thank you for showing soo much concern. I appreciate it alot. Really.

Labels: ,

Monday, November 24, 2008
the anatomy of 'screwed up'.
/9:42 PM

I said some time ago that my family was screwed up.

However, after seeing a show on TV, I changed my mind.

There's this show on channel 8, it's called Life Transformers in english, ??? in chinese. =D It airs from 8pm-9pm on Monday. Heard of it before? o.0

Anyways, in this show those mediacorp celebrities go around helping those poor, needy people... and they usually end up doing stuff like giving their houses a makeover, and basically just helping them in any way they can.

Whether the people really benefit from this show I don't know, but after watching these families and sometimes how poor they are financially, I start to realise that I'm not so screwed after all.

Although my father can go crazy sometimes, at least I have a decent place to live in... atleast I have a good computer to post on, at least I have a wonderful broadband internet to use... at least I have parents who care about me... at least I'm healthy and strong... after seeing the plight of others, I realised that all these things are really PRIVELEDGES.

However, come to think of it, there are different definitions of a screwed up family. A family can be quite well-off but not happy, a family can be poor but happy. It's all very subjective, it's all very relative. There's no fixed definition to 'screwed up'... it's all up to you to determine what is screwed and what isn't.

It's all this indefinity (if there's such a word! ;p) that made me decide on one thing: It's time to throw 'screwed up' out of the window.

Why should I pity myself by saying something like 'Ohh, my father is bad, so my family is SOOO screwed?' Why not put away the past and stop focusing on 'screwed up', but MOVE ON instead, so that slowly, we will become a more united family?
-------------------------------------------

"A family that eats together stays together"

"A loving family has God in the center of their lives"

Just some of the many quotable quotes from The Journal. It may not be like 100% accurate, but essentially, the above are just a few of the take home points from this very powerful drama. Everytime I hear the narrative in my head I feel touched... even though I watched this drama a few weeks ago. I think I'll never ever forget the lessons I learned from The Journal. It's just too powerful to forget. =D

And of course, it was a 100 times better and more meaningful than the Dramafest play. Not saying that Dramafest was bad, however. ;p

Labels:

Tuesday, November 18, 2008
a collection of thoughts...
/6:23 PM

There are alot of stuff I wanna write about in this post.

I promise you this post won't be beyond your understanding =D

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Sometimes books are unrealistic.

The things the characters do, the way they behave is really impossible in today's society.

At least in Singapore, the things those characters do are quite impossible.

It's really funny how fathers can apologise to their sons right after yelling at them, how parents don't scold their children when they are expelled from school... the list goes on and on.

I guess that's why these books are under this category called 'fiction'. Its all fake, and sadly, in the real world, things are VERY different.

----------------------------------------------------------------

Difficulties can be stepping stones or stumbling blocks.

Difficulties can motivate you to achieve greater things, but unfortunately, for alot of people, they are stumbled by difficulties.

It's really hard not to get stumbled. I admire people who still carry on despite all the setbacks, difficulties they face.

Those people who carry on despite the setbacks seem to have one thing in common: They have this desire, this passion to reach their mu biao, to accomplish what they set out to do.

if only we could have that passion...
----------------------------------------------------------------

In the Life! section of today's Straits Times, there's this article about the people of Bhutan. Apparently, they are very happy people.

Do they have huge BMWs, the lastest gadgets, or the most high-tech computers? Nope. According to the article, Bhutan is a rather poor country, and most of the people there are farmers. And they're still happy.

It's funny that although we have more 'comforts' than those people, and technically we are 'richer' than most of them, I'm sure that they are much more happier than us.

The reason? Have you realised that the foundation of our 'happiness' is based on MATERIAL OBJECTS?

Someone said in his blog that 'Suddenly i feel like a 3 year old again. How fascinating the joys of materialism'. How very true.

-------------------------------------------------------------

Labels:

Wednesday, November 12, 2008
apathy.
/8:58 PM

I really am taking alot of things for granted.

And I'm also very selfish.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Imagine this scenario.

There are 2 travellers in the desert. They have gone without food or water for 2 days, and are going to die soon if they don't find an oasis.

After travelling for some time, the sky is darkening, so they break camp. However, one of the travellers, knowing that they will probably die in the next few days if they carry on like this, continues to search for an oasis. The 2nd traveller has given up hope, and is weeping in self-pity in their tents.

After walking for a while, the 1st traveller finds the oasis, and runs towards it in happiness. he drinks the water there and is happy that he found the 'life-saving' oasis. However, he convieniently forgets about the 2nd traveller in his enjoyment and happiness, and slowly, the 2nd traveller dies...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I know my story has totally no logic, but it does has an inner meaning. each character represents a certain type of people... and this story has to do with apathy and selfishness.

When you are selfish, you hoard things for yourself, instead of considering other people. 'things' can be anything; from material objects to intangible things.

I am indeed very selfish...

Labels:

Tuesday, November 11, 2008
done.
/10:20 PM

I like to use single words for my titles, followed by a full stop... it looks quite cool on my blog, rite? =D

Anyways, this is to announce that I'VE FINNALY FINISHED READING MY CHINESE BOOK!!!!!! (the HCL holi. hw thingy) It was 192 pages, and was quite torturing sometimes to sit down and really read... but anyways, with the help of my S500i, my earphones and also the Saviour King album on my phone, I'M DONE WITH THAT BOOK!!!!! w00t!

Regarding that book, it's really touching... I remember that I was reading the ending part I was listening to To Know Your Name by Hillsong... and the atmosphere was like very touching, just like the MTP session, when I was running through the 4th level classrooms while blasting 'Welcome to the Black Parade'. ;)

Overall, the book isn't very hard to read; I didn't have to check the dictionary a single time while reading it! (if you bother to check how to pronounce the names, then that's a different story) And it's about recounts of the suvivors of the 2004 Tsunami... I like how 'flowing' the story is; although the book starts with different characters who don't know each other, the author tells each of their tales with great skill, and somehow manages to interwine their stories together in the later part of the book... It's just like transforming parallel lines into perpendicular lines.. The guy who wrote it is a GENIUS.

If you're too lazy to read what I wrote above, this is the summary: JUST READ THE BOOK. IT RAWKS! =D

Labels: , ,

nostalgia.
/2:30 PM

I just read all my early posts. -.-

It's actually quite interesting to go back and see what you wrote last time, what were your worries and fears last time, how you wrote last time... and when you compare your earlier posts to your more recent posts, you would probably see a difference. Esepcially for nicholas, who will probably see a BIG difference in his posts after August 30, 2008, as compared to those before. =D

lols... off to read my chinese book. xD

Labels: ,

Monday, November 10, 2008
blogging revelation.
/1:10 PM

I'm going to be completely honest with you in this post.

Last night(or should I say VERY early this morning ;p)  I learned an important lesson about humility: I'm not humble.   Not at all.

You may wonder why I say that... let me tell you why.  I thought about what I usually talk about in this blog, and I asked myself: "why on earth am i posting sooo much about christianity, God and this kind of stuff? What is my purpose for doing so?"

Sadly, the answer seems to be, "To impress people." 

It's getting harder and harder to be honest with you in this post... in fact, half my mind is telling me to scrape this post, relegate this into my drafts, so that it will never be seen again...

But anyways, I think it's very important for me to address this issue.  I have a feeling that alot of people will hate me after I post this... but it's still important.

I said that I don't like "despo. attention seekers"  But am I an attention seeker myself?  Why do I post just to impress people?  Why am I trying to get attention for myself through this blog?

From now on, I'm gonna be humble about what I can do, who I am, because I don't deserve all this attention that I was trying to garner.   You may see me blogging in a completely different style... but don't fret.  

Bye for now. =D

Labels: ,

Sunday, November 9, 2008
mood.
/3:32 PM

I'm in a happy mood right now.

More specifically, the 'rainbow-after-the-rain" mood. XD

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Many a times, its the simplest things that give me happiness.

For example, if I get everything I ever wanted or dreamt for, will I be happy? Definitely NO.

Let's use the iPod Touch for an example.

If you read my blog regularly (I hope you do!) you would know that I wanted an iPod Touch. I have 'thrown away' that wish, because I realised that its quite pointless to be chasing after this kind of new technological fads; one day the iPod itself will be a thing of the past.

Even if i get an iPod, will I be permanantly happy because of it? probably no.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Some simple things are ETERNAL.

Labels:

Friday, November 7, 2008
stuck.
/10:41 PM

I find that I can only write this kind of 'chim' posts when I'm really depressed.

Lols.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Anyways, if you think this is 'chim', consider this.

If a normal, average 13- year old can think about this kind of things, if an average person can be reflective, and reflect on his life, why can't you?

If you can't (or don't bother to) reflect on your life, I think your life is basically meaningless. It's like living everyday just for the sake of living; where is your purpose, where is the hope you have in life?

Anyways, this is what i thin of 'chim-ness': It's nonsense.

I'm sure that you're not mentally challenged; I'm sure you have great intellect... its only whether you bother to use it. God gave you a brain, which is supposed to be stumilated(sp?). He didn't give you a brain just to shut out stuff that is 'chim'; He gave you a brain to question, ponder, find the answers, and LEARN.

So, I hope you will read my posts... even the reflective ones.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Stuck in the mud. Some people are like that.

Some people refuse to see their errors, refuse to admit that their wrong. They have such a bloated ego that even saying a simple 'sorry', is as difficult as dropping a nuclear bomb directly on Shiro's head.

When they leave God, which they know very well is not beneficial to them, they still insist that He wasn't there for them.... and when you try to probe deeper, they just shun you off with "You don't understand what I'm going through!"

Then they become doomsayers; predicting doom after small, tiny things happen. They become so negative, so pesimistic, that after seeing some undesirable behaviour from an ANIMAL (not even a HUMAN, for goodness sake), they predict doom and start to break down... making others feel so digusted with them...

Then they turn to intimidation. They intimdate the people around them on a daily basis... puttting them on guilt trips... and well, just wrecking their relationship with others.

And when someone sits down with them and attempts to tur things around, they refuse to listen; they refuse to admit their errors. And the cycle goes on...

that was a pretty accurate potrait of someone who is rather close to me. I hoep I will never be like that person...

Labels:

Thursday, November 6, 2008
acceptance.
/10:58 PM

In this world, there is such a thing called DIVERSITY. Even among humans it is present.

Everyone is different; everyone is unique; everyone has his/her own way of thinking... everyone is DIVERSE.

As I blogsurf, as I read, I start to be disgusted with people; I start to be angry, sometimes even wondering, "OMG! Why is that person sooo inmature!?"

I realised that what i think is inmature can be very thoughtful, reflective, for the other person; what I think is excellent can be a piece of junk to another person.

This is the side effect of diversity; differences form between diverse people, because of the different way they think and the different way they act.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Its really hard to accept diversity.

Think about this: How many times have quarrels, squabbles, fights broke out between people, just because they share vastly different opinions?

The only way out is one word: ACCEPTANCE.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Speaking of acceptance, there is a fine line between that and extreme acceptance. (there was a specific term for that... but I forgot it ;p)

Some things which are really out of God's boundaries just cannot be tolerated under the name of acceptance. Homosexuality, for example.

I'm sure some very 'open-minded' people out there will be complaining like siao about what I said; but guys, before you spam my cbox, if you are truly open-minded you should be able to accept new ideas and people's diverse opinions... like mine, for example.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I think that my style of writing in this particular post is making it hard 4 ppl to read...

Congrats for getting this far. Here's a smiley for enduring my HORRIBLE english. =D

Labels:

Sunday, November 2, 2008
de.sire, pi.ty
/4:10 PM

It appears that there are alot of screwed up families these days. Like mine, for example.

Sometimes I compare myself to other people I know, and other people I see. I start to pity myself. It's really disgusting, how people compare with each other, and in the end everyone loses; everyone thinks that the other person is better, the other person has a happier life... the list goes ON AND ON.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Everyone has commited this horrible thing: Pitying yourself.

You may deny it, but don't tell me you never felt pity for yourself when disaster strikes, when your results are bad, when you lose your job, when you had a bad day. *start singing Bad Day*

Suffering... why must people choose to question it? Why must people always ask themselves, the people around them, or even God "Why, ___(fill in the blanks urself), why must this be happening?"

Why not just move on? I'm sure that isn't very hard...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Desire is the driving force behind everything.

I'm sure you can't argue against that. xD

Before you 'Nil sine Labore' you must 'Nil sine Desire'; in other words, you must have the desire to labour before you can really labour.

I think the solution to having an un-screwed up family is this: Having the desire to put things right again, having the desire to say sorry, having the desire to forgive, having the desire to change, having the desire to see a happy family once again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You may argue that it isn't easy to move on. You can argue that "No one understands what I'm going through!"

If you say so, then just stay there. Don't move on from your trouble. Spend your day crying, sobbing, pitying yourself in the mess you fell through... while other people who have WENT THROUGH THE SAME THING BTW, are out there, enjoying their life.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am directing this post to 2 specific people. I really hope they read this...

And oh yarh, I am deleting the emo category for my posts, because they aren't really emo. They are just REFLECTIVE.

Labels:

Friday, October 31, 2008
cliques.
/6:31 PM

The worst cliques ever...

"The capable people" and "The incapable people"

The capable people are like the privledged; they are given resposibilities and stuff that the incapable hope for. Technically, the capable are supposed to help the incapable and bring the incapable over to the capable clique; but most of the time the incapables are left to die, and the capables celebrate their death.

The incapables are again seperated into 2 categories: 1. Those who have motivation but no ability 2. Those who have no motivation but have ability

Its really sad that people are seperated due to their ability.

I'm sure that many people will know which category of people I belong to.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm trying not to care about my audience.

In other words, I'm trying not to filter my posts just to remain out of trouble; I'm not gonna write in a certain tone, in a certain manner just to suit some people who read my blog.

In other words, I DON'T CARE.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Back to the two cliques.

When you seperate people, you achieve the best results, because you can convieniently chuck away the incapable and use them for saikung while you use the capable for more important stuff.

I'm not saying that that's wrong, but do you know how many people are hurt when you do that?

Do you have any idea how many spirits are crushed just because you refuse to give them a chance, a chance to prove their ability?

Even if they really have bankrupt ability, why not give them a chance? A chance to improve themselves, a chance to join the 'capable' one day?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Some people shirk away from responsibilites. But I embrace them.

Some people are content on just having nothing to do, and not giving any contribution whatsoever. But I want to contribute. I want to make a difference.

Well, since no one trusts me, no one gives me anything to do, I have to be content with having absolutely nothing to do.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Life.

Some people are gifted at certain things, some people are talented in other areas.

But of course, from time to time, there will be this oddball who does badly in everything and is at most medicore at a few things.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I feel sad.

Weirdly, there is supposed to be such a thing called a TGIF Mood, but weirdly, Friday is one of my most depressing moments.

Labels:

Thursday, October 30, 2008
focus.
/9:19 PM

I'm gonna run to you
I'm gonna run to you
I know I lived a life
Of lust and pride
So set my priorities right...

I'm gonna focus on God
though the world's gonna tearing me apart
I'm gonna focus on You
though the world will try to steal my heart

I'm gonna focus on God
as I live a life of faith
And I'm gonna run, run away
And focus on you Lord


I was quite pissed off by my father just now... I realised that his actions are showing me that he cares more about Shiro (my dog!) than us, or even God. It's really sad... and I've no idea why I'nm telling you all this either. I realised that when we are focusing on the wrong set of things, disastrous stuff will happen... like my dad... as I was thinking, I wrote the above song abt focusing on God.

lols.. I guess I am musically talented. =D

Labels: ,

Monday, October 27, 2008
handle.bar.
/10:47 PM

Jeremy and co. introduced me to this song:

Handlebars by Flobots





Laughed enough? Now, watch the music video:



Flobots-Handlebars - Flobots



After watching the MV, I realised that Handlebars isn't totally meaningless... At first I thought the wonderful ppl who made this did not have a specific messsage to convey... they just wanted to make a catchy tune that will rise up the charts (*cough*will.i.am*cough*) But I was wrong, of course. =D

Labels: ,




Me!
/ring the mission bell,

Renjie....

doesn't know what to write about here.
Victorian, with the ancestory of a siix-oner. =D
Arrow Scout. =D
Wanted by law, saved by grace! XD
tag!
affliates
/storm the gates of hell!

Siix-one | 2G'09 | Cell | Bok Woon | Deon | En Quan | Francis | Guo Qiang | Jac | Jason | Jianhan | Joshua | Nicholas | Sally | Tania | Tristen | Weilin | Xiu Qi | Yu Lian | Yu Qian |

Icons: x
Memories...
/miracles run from street to street...


July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
July 2009
August 2009