The capable people are like the privledged; they are given resposibilities and stuff that the incapable hope for. Technically, the capable are supposed to help the incapable and bring the incapable over to the capable clique; but most of the time the incapables are left to die, and the capables celebrate their death.
The incapables are again seperated into 2 categories: 1. Those who have motivation but no ability 2. Those who have no motivation but have ability
Its really sad that people are seperated due to their ability.
I'm sure that many people will know which category of people I belong to.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'm trying not to care about my audience.
In other words, I'm trying not to filter my posts just to remain out of trouble; I'm not gonna write in a certain tone, in a certain manner just to suit some people who read my blog.
In other words, I DON'T CARE.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Back to the two cliques.
When you seperate people, you achieve the best results, because you can convieniently chuck away the incapable and use them for saikung while you use the capable for more important stuff.
I'm not saying that that's wrong, but do you know how many people are hurt when you do that?
Do you have any idea how many spirits are crushed just because you refuse to give them a chance, a chance to prove their ability?
Even if they really have bankrupt ability, why not give them a chance? A chance to improve themselves, a chance to join the 'capable' one day?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Some people shirk away from responsibilites. But I embrace them.
Some people are content on just having nothing to do, and not giving any contribution whatsoever. But I want to contribute. I want to make a difference.
Well, since no one trusts me, no one gives me anything to do, I have to be content with having absolutely nothing to do.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Life.
Some people are gifted at certain things, some people are talented in other areas.
But of course, from time to time, there will be this oddball who does badly in everything and is at most medicore at a few things.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I feel sad.
Weirdly, there is supposed to be such a thing called a TGIF Mood, but weirdly, Friday is one of my most depressing moments.
Lols.. I'm going to VS later to buy my books.. to be honest I dun feel like going allll the way there, bu I don't really have a choice right? =D
Thursday, October 30, 2008
focus.
/9:19 PM
I'm gonna run to you I'm gonna run to you I know I lived a life Of lust and pride So set my priorities right...
I'm gonna focus on God though the world's gonna tearing me apart I'm gonna focus on You though the world will try to steal my heart
I'm gonna focus on God as I live a life of faith And I'm gonna run, run away And focus on you Lord
I was quite pissed off by my father just now... I realised that his actions are showing me that he cares more about Shiro (my dog!) than us, or even God. It's really sad... and I've no idea why I'nm telling you all this either. I realised that when we are focusing on the wrong set of things, disastrous stuff will happen... like my dad... as I was thinking, I wrote the above song abt focusing on God.
I played Sims 2 awhile ago... and then my comp. screwed up and restarted itself, then when I went back to Sims I found out that I didn't save my game. Sighs...
Anyways, I'm feeling very slack in doing my hw and basically... studying. Weirdly, I feel as if I've finished PSLE and there's almost nthing to study... but actually there IS a whole mountain of crap for me to do.
sighs again.
I've also been wondering: What do you think about how I write? Is it like too chim, or too difficult to read, or too easy to read?(lols) Pls give feedback on the cbox so I can banish you give you a free holiday to the Giant Ice-Cream Bowl of Shiro Land of Icecream! XD
And oh yarh, at the opposite end of the study room, my sis is playing this crappy dress-up game on y8.com
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
5 random facts.
/11:33 PM
Once again, I'm blogging when I should be in bed...
Anyways, I guess I'll just write 5 random facts about me:
5 RANDOM FACTS ABOUT RENJIE
(note:not necessarily fascinating ;p)
1. I edit Wikipedia
You heard that right; yes, I do edit wikipedia. Of course, I don't vandalize; I do stuff for the good of the community. =D And editing wiki may seem to be nerdy to you... but its a tradition passed down from generation of victorians to victorians... ask Chia (another VS tradition) about it. =D
2. I USED to be obsessed with blogsurfing
I used to visit some people's blog(not revealing who) at an average of around 5 times a day. I'll go to his/her blog and check for updates... if they're none I'll go into depression. But don't worry, I'm not so insane now.
3. I used to listen to Chinese songs
Hahas. That was when I was in P5 , and I was influenced by the China guy sitting next to me. (ok lah... his name is Weichen... and he's quite a nice guy) But after getting my S500i, I started getting hooked onto English songs for no reason... hahas.
4. I'm uncomfortable with people seeing me on the comp.
If people are sitting behind me (like just now) while I'm blogging/playing comp/doing crap on the comp. I'll feel like very uncomfortable... as if he's like watchingwhat I'm doing. It's not that I have anything to hide, but I just feel uncomfortable about it...
5. I did some things which I really regret.
When I talk about really regret here, I'm not talking about things like not studying for exams, or signing up for a course on Sundays, which are basically very temporary... I'm talking about things I'll probably regret for a lifetime. I won't tell you what, 'cause its abit too personal... but yarh, I did some things which I really regret...
/2:29 PM
There are many things I wanna talk about... And I have only about 30min until my piano teacher comes... =D
Today I went to Pasir Ris MRT to replace my ez-link card. Yarh, gloat all you want; the mighty renjie had lost his ez-link card. But now I have a new one, and at least I dont need to see my spastic looking Primary 1 face. =D I remember what happened the first time I lost my card. (this is the 2nd time...lols) I had to go alllllll the way to Buona Vista, to find that some good samaritan returned the card... it sucked alot... since I had to stone in the MRT for about an hour...
Now regarding the class outing... I spoke to Jeremy about it... we are thinking of playing futsal... and if you suck at football (like me) or you don't want to play, we'll have other things for you to do... like saikung playing board games etc. We are thinking of also having a scrabble competition. BUT MRS LIM IS NOT ALLOWED TO PLAY... OTHERWISE SHE'LL OWN EVERYONE LIKE SIAO LIKE HOW SHE PWNED NIKHIL. -_-
Tentative Date: 14th November. =D
And oh yarh, I think that =D is becoming my favourite emoticon.
=D=D=D=D=D=D=D=D=D=D=D=D=D=D=D
Monday, October 27, 2008
handle.bar.
/10:47 PM
Jeremy and co. introduced me to this song:
Handlebars by Flobots
Laughed enough? Now, watch the music video:
After watching the MV, I realised that Handlebars isn't totally meaningless... At first I thought the wonderful ppl who made this did not have a specific messsage to convey... they just wanted to make a catchy tune that will rise up the charts (*cough*will.i.am*cough*) But I was wrong, of course. =D
Anyways, I realised that holidays ain't as fun as I thought it'll be. I can play comp, relax from my schoolwork (BUT STILL MUST DO HOMEWORK!!), and "forget" whatever I've learnt for sec 1 for these few months... sometimes I also go to friend's house... bla bla bla bla.
But guess what? I'm still feeling rather empty inside. As if this fun is not really "fun".
I feel the same thing as when you leave a movie. For that 1-half hour you enjoy the movie, but when you get out, all your troubles and worries and cares start to hit you...again.
Lols. I only remember 1 occasion I had real, clean fun. (there might be others , of course.) It was last year, in FOP (Festival of Praise) 2007, held at the Indoor Stadium. Had a really fantastic time worshipping, praising God... an when I came home at about 1am+, I was like... super high. =D
It isn't that I'm very stressed out... it's that I'm unable to find real, clean fun.
But of course, life is still relatively good. =)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I ain't gonna talk about some philosphical stuff... Just wanna tell you about what I did yesterday night. (now is 12.19am ;p)
Went out with my family to visit my grandma. We went to this chinese restraunt for dinner (which was nice) then 'hanged out' at her house for awhile.
Its kinda nice to be together with your family members... After all, I don't see my grandma that often. Although I don't talk so much to her (because my chinese suckz and I don't really know what to talk about), its still good to spend some time with her.
And I noticed that my posts are getting longer and longer, while Nicholas is going the other way. Hahas. =D
I find it harder and harder to talk about my life, to talk about more 'casual' stuff. Lols. I guess I'm starting to think alot more critically.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Studies. It isn't everything.
Some people appear to be rather consumed with getting good results. Not me, of course. XD
But I realised that most of the time, those people seem to be 'hated', not only for being so imba, bt also ,weirdly, most of the time they have toally no character, no concern, no care.
After typing all that, I'm starting to wonder: Am I one of those people?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Education.
1 a: the action or process of educating or of being educated ; also : a stage of such a process b: the knowledge and development resulting from an educational process.
Source: Merrian Webster Online Dictionary
Did they say that education is "The process in which you try to ace exams"? or "The process in which people have bragging rights over others for ace-ing exams"?
To those people out there who are overly-concerned about exams, remember the definition of education. It'll shed some light on why you're in school in the first place.
Welcome to the renjie music awards! =D Today we shall be giving out the prizes for:
The most un-meanignful song of the year, The emo-est song of the year, The most unique song of the year, The most funniest song of the year, The most "twisted" song of the year. The most meaningful song of the year.
Now let us begin *drumroll*
The emo-est song of the year
Prize goes to: Mama by My Chemical Romance
I was talking to Somehow about the extreme emo-ness of "Mama" It's like super negative, right from the start "Mama, we're all gonna hell" . I also considered giving this the "twisted" song of the year, because it talks about the horrors of war and how it changes people, so they don't have a moral compass in them.
The most unique song of the year
Prize goes to: Crayons can Melt On Us For All I Care by Relient K
This song is 10 seconds long. I remember looking at the lyrics of this song, to find a one-liner "I Just Wasted 10 Seconds Of Your Life". But its also rather unique, not only due to its short length, but it makes people reflect on whether they are putting time to good use, whether they are wasting it. I still can't figure out the meaning of the song name however...
This was sung as a parody of apologize, by 2 mediacorp radio deejays. Its like... SUPER ROFLLMAO! I was laughing throughout the song. =D
The most un-meanignful song of the year
Prize goes to: I got it from my mama by will.i.am
At least heartbreaker talks about people who break the heart of others... but I got it from my mama has like... totally no meaning! =( IMHO, this song is degrading women, as will.i.am is like basically gawking at the gal's body, and not focusing on the gal herself. I have to admit, its quite "addictive" however. Haha.
The most meaningful song of the year
I have several contestants for this prize...
1. Where is the Love? -Black Eyed Peas
2. Who I am Hates Who I've Been - Relient K
3. Miracle Maker - Delirious?
4. To Know Your Name - Hillsong LIVE
Well, I thought about it, and in a keenly fought fight, MIRACLE MAKER is the winna! +D Miracle Maker is a very meaningful song by Delirious? (It's a christian song, btw.)
Go check it out. The lyrics are very meaningful and the song really touched me alot. =D
The most twisted song of the year
Prize goes to: Blood by My chemical romance This song is creepy. Really. I think I heard it somewhere in those old musicals... but the way Gerard Way sings is... twisted. As if he's singing some sort of propoganda song.
Friday, October 24, 2008
Motivational Headache.
/9:27 PM
What drives us?
What drives us to do the things we do? What causes us to be sooo 'enthu' over certain stuff, but adopt a 'bo liao' attitude over others?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In order to complete a task well, a person needs 2 things.
1. Motivation 2. Ability
you get motivated then you do it. As simple as that.
Well, maybe not.
From time to time, there are always these few freaks, these few weird people who have the motivation but no ability.
One example: ME.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Many people have a bad impression of me. I'm very sure of it.
Many people hate me. Even more people depise me. Even I depise myself from time to time.
All this is really bringing me down.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
At the MTP session a few days ago, Mr Low advised parents to see the bigger picture, to not focus on the flaws of their child "Why focus on the tiny crack on an otherwise excellent wall so much?"
Well, what if the wall is full of cracks? What if the wall is gonna crumble into dust very soon?
You try to do rescue operations on the wall. But guess what? It isn't happy. YOU'RE KILLING THE WALL, NOT HELPING IT.
Let it crumble. If you can't help, let it crumble.
JUST GO AWAY.
i'm crumbling and no one can help. How sad.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This earthquake weather has got me shaken Inside I'm high up and dry
--Pictures of you by The Last Goodnight
I've always wondered what this means. What do they mean 'I'm high up and dry'?
Well today, I just discovered the answer, thanks to all the haters out there.
Lols... that was the shortest song I've ever seen... But I still can't figure out what the title of this song has to do with wasting 10s of your life...
Anyways, I just realised that Relient K produced both the longest and shortest songs I've ever heard. =D
I was quite busy yersterday... went to Jonah's house to complete the class video once and for all, then 'chionged' back to VS with Deon and Jeremy to help out with the Meet-parent session. It was seriously VERY fun... although there were 3 MAJOR disasters...
1. EQ found out that the class vid contains EXPLICT stuff! (e.g. Some joker pointing the middle finger...) Cannot let parents see how horrible we are right?So he edited those stuff out using Deon's POWDERFUL windows-vista Compaq laptop. So we had a 'clean' version and an 'explict' version.
2. FILE SIZE TOO LARGE! After he edited, dunno wad crap he did, the file size become 1.6GB!! *gasp* Fortunately, problem solved by using the laptop to play the video and not Mrs Lim's comp.
3. NOT ENOUGH CHAIRS! Some parents were very late, so all the chairs were filled up le. We ran to the 4th floor classrooms to take chairs but all the classrooms were locked. And btw, while we were running from classroom to classroom I was blasting 'Welcome to the Black Parade'. The atmophere was like very nice... =D
I'm too lazy to talk abt how my results are... All you need to know is that I did well, mostly thanks to TfU project. ;)
Today got back all my exam papers. I now have a rough idea of hw my L1R5 is gonna be like.
SCREW YOU, MATHS AND CHINESE!!!!!! x(
I won't talk 2 mich about my exams... but there's something I need to address.
I really hate ppl who do this...
"Waa, Renjie so pro sia!"
"Aiya, Renjie confirm A1 de!"
WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU PPL!? I failed my maths, nearly failed my chinese and you guys still call me pro? And pls, I'm not a magical 'A1 machine' hor. I get B3 and B4s btw.
And to those people who say that, do you know that you are actually idolizing me? I'm just a normal human...like you... why come and disturb my peace? My life is wrecked up already, you still come and wreck up the wreckage for what!?
I may get higher marks for SOME(not all) subjects, but that doesn't mean that I'm the 'pro' in everything related to that subject. So keep your comments to urself. Before you go...
GOOD SA RESULTS DOES NOT EQUATE TO SMARTNESS!!
In other words, I may get good SCHOOL results, but am I the smartest? Am I the brightest? In the real world, will I survive the best? OBVIOUSLY NO! In Real Life (in case you didn't realise) you need even more than good sch results to get you high up the ladder, you need much more than good O level/ A level/ whatever results to bring you higher. So stop saying that I'm the SMARTEST, OK!?
This post in a nutshell: STOP DISTURBING ME WITH YOUR WEIRD COMMENTS!! GO FIND SOMEONE ELSE TO DISTRUB!! ;(
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Heartbreaker v2.0
/6:04 PM
Anyone heard of the song Heartbreaker by will.i.am?It's a great song, now I'm going to make it even better... by creating a new version! =)
Look Out [x3]
Where it's at I know my sins coming to pay me back I was such a sinner that I was condemed I broke His heart in 30 seconds flat In 30 seconds flat
Now how did I Just how did I become that kind of guy To get forgived and sin right in the eye The Holy Spirit told me that ain't right, boy now that ain't right
I'm S S S Sorry I'm S S S Sorry I Didn't Mean To Break Your Heart [x2] I'm S S S Sorry I'm S S S Sorry I Didn't Mean To Break ya Look I'm A Heartbreaker [x6] I'm A Heart A H H H H I'm A Heart A H H H I'm A
Where He went I got some things I gotta let Him know To forgive my sins its still possible And maybe if I run away, if I run away I won't sin I just can't throw forgiveness down in the dirt If I sinned again You prolly would be grieved and hurt Cause if I Let You Down It'll Make You Hurt I won't Make You Hurt
I'm S S S Sorry I'm S S S Sorry I Didn't Mean To Break Your Heart [x2] I'm S S S Sorry I'm S S S Sorry I Didn't Mean To Break Ya B B B B Break It Baby Look Baby I'm A Heartbreaker [x6] I'm A Heart A H H H H I'm A Heart A H H H I'm a
Forgive me now Forgive me now [rougly 15x]
So So So Sorry So So So Sorry A La La La La La La La La La La La
I'm S S S Sorry I'm S S S Sorry I Didn't Mean To Break Your Heart [x2] I'm S S S Sorry I'm S S S Sorry I Didn't Mean To Break Ya B B B B Break It Baby Look I'm A Heartbreaker [x6] I'm A Heart A H H H H Heart A H H H
Note to Nicholas: Pearlyn isn't the prolly woman. will.i.am is. =D
Saturday, October 18, 2008
I'm s-s-s-sorry...
/11:26 PM
3 posts a day. what a record.
lols.
I think what I had written was rather immature and I was just oversensitive and depressed. To the person I was referring to (it was actually quite a hate post, because its obvious who that person is) very sorry for what i typed about you.
I must learn how to control my emotions better... next time.
One more thing: I see light at the end of the tunnel.
a certain someone.
/11:01 PM
I'm feeling sad and disappointed.
The root cause: something I looked forward to is being screwed, and someone is NOT responding to me even though I msn him sooo many times on urgent matters, and his blog is making me depressed.
it's not entirely that person's fault. Or maybe it is. I don't know.
ARGH.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A regular tagger goes non-existant overnight.
What shall we do?
Should we call the police? Post a missing report?
What shall we do?
Nvm. I'll survive, somehow.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I can empatize with people having shattered dreams. Many of my aspirations, dreams, goals have been broken beyond mending before.
Many of them are small goals, a few are big dreams, but it all adds up to the void in my heart, the void in me. The void only God can fill.
It's sad to be sad. It's sad to be disappointed. Now I'm feeling disgusted with that certain person; I may turn this into a hate post if I'm not careful.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sometimes I just can't understand the way people think. The way they behave.
Maybe I don't click well with certain persons, the one mentioned above included.
But that won't stop me from trying to be their friend.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When you hold on to something too dearly, and that thing starts to disintegrate, you are shattered.
Sometimes its because of my overcomitting that I feel broken when things don't turn my way.
BUT I DON'T CARE. I'LL CARRY ON. People will disappoint. People will grief. But God won't. That's a consolation.
blog styles
/10:08 PM
After reading quite a number of blogs, I've realised that we all have different styles of blogging. Here are some styles:
1. Diary Blog is mainly about what you do everyday... maybe some pictures here and there. This is the most "basic" blogging style. Can be quite boring or dry sometimes. Example: Yu Lian's blog (all about his life in DHS), Leighton
2. Emo Very rarely seen. The blogger airs his negative views about life. A depressing read. Examples: Bok Woon's blog. (certain posts)
3. Pictorial The blogger is probably an expert photographer, and most of his blog post showcases his photos, videos etc. Examples: Mr Siow's blog?
4. Random Blogger posts totally unrelated and random stuff on his blog. Examples: Kai Cong's blog. (totally nothing to do with anything at all)
5. Reflective Blogger not only talks about his life, but reflects on it too. Examples: Shervin, Ziyad, Francis, me, Nicholas and a ton of other people.
6. Mockery Alot of sacarsm, satire etc. A funny read. Examples: Lum's fanblog (Nicholas)
7. Youtube videos Blogger posts ALOT of youtube videos, till the point where the blog is not about him anymore. Examples: Kian Meng (when his blog was still around)
If you think that I've placed your blog in a wrong category, or if you think it should be placed in ANOTHER category, pls tag.
Today we watched I Am Legend in sch. Was too boring at first, but quite exciting during the action scenes. Could have been better with more action. =)
The dance worshop was not as horrible as I imagined... although I danced freakingly HORRIBLE, was still quite fun. I will be getting back my papers on monday... sian... dunno how I'll fare...
Went out with my sis and mum to TM today for dinner and bumped into NICOLAS TAY! Lols... what a coincidence. ;p
And yaay, tomorrow dunnid to wake up early, because NO SCOUT MEETING! YAAY! =D
Before you leave...
Another trailer done by ME, for the class vid. It is coming VERY, VERY soon. In fact, should be done by now. =)
Ok, going to sleep le. zzz...
Thursday, October 16, 2008
/9:58 PM
Lols... I realised that BLOGSKINS.COM IS TEEMING WITH SINGAPOREANS!!! =)
They have threads in the forum abt PSLE, and almost 90% of the users there are Singaporean.
However, I'm wondering why did we monopolize the whole of blogskins. The creator of the site was this guy called Myles Grant, and registration is open to everyone around the world. Its abit freaky how the whole show is run by us.
But it also shows how pro we are. =)
I think that maybe Singaporeans are more into blogging, with internet access easily avaliable. I've also noticed that for many 'overseas' bloggers tend to use boring, plain skins, while we hate blogger's predefined skins ALOT. Or maybe there are a lot of HTML, CSS pros in Singapore... but I doubt that.
What do euu think? Post ur comments in the tb.
Lols... anyways, the Singapore community of blogskins is there to stay. =)
maybe I should upload the Shiro video here. Then you all can have a gd laugh.
haha.
Anyways, tomorrow is a DANCE WORKSHOP. (WTH!?o.0) Who wants to learn how to dance anyways? They should have organised something more interesting...
And oh yeah, bumped into Yu Lian today when I was coming out of the MRT. Talked alot of crap with him, and told him my WONDERFUL theory of why Dunman High has alot more girls than boys.
And today in school was inter-class tournament... was quite boring. Anyways, 1G came in 4th place for soccer... quite good le, I think.
ARGH. I dunno what else to talk about. Lols. off to find something to do... again.
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
bored.
/12:15 PM
my 96th post. =D
Another boooring day. I'm so bored that I dun noe wad to type here. =)
Before exams, life is soo screwed up. Now after exams, you're so bored that life screws up.
sianz.
bye, off to find something to do.
Monday, October 13, 2008
random stuff.
/5:06 PM
Lols... I feel very lazy. Its already 5.10 and I'm still blogging...
Anyways, EXAMS ARE FINALLY OVER!!!!!!!!! MUAHAHA!!!
I had some tough papers, some easier ones, and it has been a VERY LOOOONG WEEK. =( But now... im free! =D
lols.
Anyways, check out this song...
Deathbed- Relient K
I can smell the death on the sheets Covering me I can't believe this is the end
But this is my deathbed I lie here alone If I close my eyes tonight I know I'll be home
The year was nineteen forty one I was eight years old and Far far too young To know that the stories Of battles and glory Was a tale a kind mother Made up for her son You see Dad was a traveling preacher Teaching the words of the Teacher But mother had sworn Went off to the war And died there with honor Somewhere on a beach there But he left once to never return Which taught me that I should unlearn Whatever I thought a father should be I abandoned that thought Like he abandoned me
By forty seven I was fourteen I'd acquired a taste for liquor and nicotine I smoked until I threw up Yet I still lit 'em up for thirty more years Like a machine
So right there you have it That one filthy habit Is what got me where I am today
I can smell the death on the sheets Covering me I can't believe this is the end I can hear those sad memories Still haunting me So many things I'd do again
But this is my deathbed I lie here alone If I close my eyes tonight I know I'll be home
I got married on my twenty first Eight months before my wife would give birth It's easier to be sure you love someone When her father inquires with the barrel of a gun The union was far from harmonious No two people could have been more alone than us The years would go by and she'd love someone else And I realized I hadn't been loved yet myself
And there's your typical spiel Yeah if life was a highway I was drunk at the wheel I was seeing the loose ends All fall apart Yeah I swear I was destined to fail And fail from the start
I bowled about six times a week
The bottle of Beam kept the memories from me The marriage had taken a seven-ten split Along with my pride the ex-wife took the kids
I can smell the death on the sheets Covering me I can't believe this is the end I can hear those sad memories Still haunting me So many things I'd do again
But this is my deathbed I lie here alone If I close my eyes tonight I know I'll be home
I was so scared of Jesus But He sought me out Like the cancer in my lungs That's killing me now And I've given up hope On the days I have left But I cling to the hope Of my life in the next Then Jesus showed up Said "Before we go" "I thought that we might reminisce" "See one night in your life" "When you turned out the light" "You asked for and prayed for my forgiveness"
You cried wolf The tears they soaked your fur The blood dripped from your fangs You said, "What have I done?" You loved that lamb With every sinful bone And there you wept alone Your heart was so contrite
You said, "Jesus, please forgive me of my crimes Sanctify this withered heart of mine Stay with me until my life is through And on that day please take me home with you"
I can smell the death on the sheets Covering me I can't believe this is the end I can hear You whisper to me, "It's time to leave You'll never be lonely again"
But this was my deathbed I died there alone When I closed my eyes tonight You carried me home
[Jon Foreman of Switchfoot sings, as the voice of Jesus:] I am the Way Follow Me And take My hand And I am the Truth Embrace Me and you'll understand And I am the Light And for Me you'll live again For I am Love I am Love I, I am Love
The perfect song of rejection and redemption.... btw, this song is ELEVEN MINUTES long. =)
The sermon which is most applicable to me to this date. =)
Well, it made me realise that I only loved those who loved me. Do I love the bangladesh workers working their head of to built VS's Indoor Sports Hall? Nope. In fact, do I even love my parents?
The sermon has set me thinking about all these questions; I realised that I need to love those around me, and stop habouring grudges, and... just love them.
And btw, I'm straight ok? I'm talking about the type of love which the sex education talks are NOT concerned abt. =D
Lol. Just unloaded a stream of chiiimpanzee onto this blog.
I went to Nicholas's cell today. Had a seriously great time playing drip, drip, drop, sabo-ing nicholas, watching him BULLY SMALL GIRL =), and worshipping God. I felt close to tears. Really. Unfortunately, I can't go back to his cell; at least in the near future... due to CCA on sat. and church on Sunday. ;)
I've also been playing this game: Straw Hat Samurai. If you're played the Darkness series of games, this is by the same creator. =) Its quite interesting; I like how you kill your enemies by drawing a line across them, instead of relying on spamming your keyboard. =) Artwork, storyline, and the game mechanics are also fantastic; I seriously recommend you to play. the guy who created this game is a genius. ;p
Check out his Darkness series too. Well, if you get scared out of your wits and can't sleep at night because of the 'disturbing' scenes you see, don't blame me pls. =)
Straw Hat Samurai
Darkness
Friday, October 10, 2008
shiro? o.0
/12:51 PM
Who is the mysterious SHIRO? What does this has to do with renjie? o.0
I kinda screwed up my Paper B. Paper A was like... quite simple. Dunno why ppl keep saying tat section B easier than Section A. :S
Anyways, what's over is over le; so I won't talk about how 'well' i did my Paper B. -_-
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Beneath a person is his fears, his dreams, his goals, his feelings etc. What happens when you break everything within him apart?
The person breaks down. He malfunctions.
That was basically what happened to me last night. I think I'm on the road... to a malfunction.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Restrictions. Some are there for your good, like not crossing the road when a car is driving past.
Some are there to destroy you. totally. utterly. Some are not for your good. Some are set by people who DON'T UNDERSTAND, people who hate. People who cause you to screw up everything.
Restrictions. They aren't really bad; but sometimes, they are.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sometimes I feel I shouldn't be in 1G'08. Sometimes I wonder: "Why am I here in the first place?"
ARGH.
Life is so screwed up.
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
/12:23 PM
A very apt song for what everyone is feeling now.
Delirious? - We Give You Praise
When the road is rough and steep And it leads a heart to weep There's an ocean of tears That you've caught through the years But we're not stopping here
On this long and winding street Will you guide these weary feet Every step that we take With our hearts full of faith And we're not stopping here
Together we are stronger so put your hand in mine
We give you praise We give you praise And the king of all the earth Has saved us from ourselves We give you praise
Through the avenues of time Here you meet me where I am We walk with glory and pain And you've broken the chains So there's no stopping here
We sing glory In the darkness there you shine Let it shine let it shine let it shine
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Exam Day 2...
/2:51 PM
2nd day of my exams... had history and english paper 1 today.
I think I kinda screwed up my compo. History was ok, but not fantastic either.
sighs.
Anyways, for my compo, I wrote most emo, most darkest in the history of my life. All you need to noe is that it was inspired by this:
The boys and girls in the clique The awful names that they stick You're never gonna fit in much, kid But if you're troubled and hurt What you got under your shirt Will make them pay for the things that they did
--Teenagers, My Chemical Romance
The more I think about that compo, the worst I feel abt it...
Now I'm slacking for awhile before going off to my science; I'm just tired, and quite drained. =(
This is supposed to be Nico's retribution for passing on a quiz to him... anyways, I decided to give it a funny twist. ;p As you guys know, I have such a gGREAT SENSE of humour! +)
1. What's your best subject? Killing Nicholas 2. What's your second best subject? Killing Nicholas 3. What's your third best subject? Killing Nicholas 4. What's your fourth best subject? Killing Nicholas 5. What's your fifth best subject? Killing Nicholas 6. What's your sixth best subject? Killing Nicholas 7. What's your seventh best subject? Killing Nicholas 8. What's your eighth best subject? Killing Nicholas 9. What colour is your hair? Like Nicholas 10. What colour is your skin? Like Nicholas 11. What is the colour of underwear? ... 12. What is the colour of your skin when you emo? Like Nicholas 13. Will you smoke in the future? No, like nicholas 14. Will you take drugs in the future? No, like nicholas 15. Will you emo later? Only if Nicholas emos 16. What do you think of this 'retribution quiz'? What does nicholas think abt it? 17. What do you think of your thoughts? NICHOLAS!!! 18. Do you dream of the dream you had the previous day? Yarh, the dream abt Nicholas 19. Did you just eat porridge? I ate nicholas flavour porridge. YUM! 20. What colour do you like? Same as Nicholas. 21. What colour do you think of when you emo? Same as Nicholas. 22. Who do you think of when you emo? Same as Nicholas. 23. What do you think of doing when you emo? Same as Nicholas. 25. Are you emo? Is Nicholas emo? 26. What is the colour of your skin when you emo? Same as Nicholas. 27. Will you smoke in the future? Same as Nicholas. 28. Will you take drugs in the future? Same as Nicholas. 29. Will you emo later? Same as Nicholas. 30. Are you happy now? YES! NICHOLAS RAWKS! 31. Cos' this the last question: ARE YOU SCARED AND VOW NEVER TO ANGER NICHOLAS AGAIN?!
Nope. ;P
To nicholas: Retribution can come back to you too. =)
Amazing song! I think its permamantly stuck in my head! ;)
Take take take it all, take take take it all...
And remember to stop the music first b4 watching it ;)
*
An update about the 1G class video.
It appears that Jeremy and a few other people have coincidentally thought of making a class vid too. So I'll be going over to Jonah's house after the last exam paper to compile all the movie clips, photos, etc. etc. with them. ;)
And btw, I'm thinking of using 'welcome to the black parade' as the music. =)
Saturday, October 4, 2008
england-china!
/7:39 PM
Well I was there on the day They sold the cause for the queen, And when the lights all went out We watched our lives on the screen. I hate the ending myself, But it started with an alright scene.
It was the roar of the crowd That gave me heartache to sing. It was a lie when they smiled And said, "you won't feel a thing" And as we ran from the cops We laughed so hard it would sting
Yeah yeah, oh
If I'm so wrong (so wrong, so wrong) How can you listen all night long? (night long, night long) Now will it matter after I'm gone? Because you never learn a goddamned thing.
You're just a sad song with nothing to say About a lifelong wait for a hospital stay Well if you think that I'm wrong, This never meant nothing to ya
I spent my high school career Spit on and shoved to agree So I can watch all my heroes Sell a car on tv Bring out the old guillotine We'll show them what we all mean.
Yeah yeah, oh
If I'm so wrong (so wrong, so wrong) How can you listen all night long? (night long, night long) Now will it matter long after I'm gone? Because you never learn a goddamned thing.
You're just a sad song with nothing to say About a lifelong wait for a hospital stay And if you think that I'm wrong, This never meant nothing to ya
So go, go away, just go, run away. But where did you run to? And where did you hide? Go find another way, price you pay
Woah, woah, woah Woah, woah, woah
You're just a sad song with nothing to say About a lifelong wait for a hospital stay And if you think that I'm wrong, This never meant nothing to ya, come on
You're just a sad song with nothing to say About a lifelong wait for a hospital stay Well if you think that I'm wrong, This never meant nothing to ya
At all, at all, at all, at all...
Disenchanted- My Chemical Romance
Ok, this is totally wacky and random, but I'm going to do a chinese translation... =)
*The chinese version of at all( in this case) is 一点也不, and it dosen't fit into the tune. So I decided to use the england version instead. =)
Completed! MCR will be sooo proud of me! (not) ;p
Friday, October 3, 2008
quiz....
/5:28 PM
Sianz... kenna tagged by yulian...
TYPE YOUR FIRST NAME WITH YOUR... 1. FINGERS: Ren Jie 2. CHIN: fdd nmjmnfd (ARGH!) 3. ONE FINGER, EYES CLOSED: Renjie 4. ELBOW: remnyjkuiwe4 5. NOSE: r4ed4jnijij84 6. PALM: r4njie
List four randoms you have. 1. Stress 2. This blog 3. 1G 4. iwl ebng atn *
*Its an anagram. See if you can solve it.
2. Have you ever slept in the back of a car? of course...
3. Have you recently dyed your hair/cut it? I'm like my hair colour thank you... as for cutting, last time was in sept I think... (chia hasn't caught mi yet ;p)
4. List four people that you look up to the most. i don't know...
5. How many pets do you own as of now? 1.
6. Which do you prefer white or black? white. It suits me better.
7. Who is your most played character? character? o.0
8. Choose one or the other, not both: -Being stuck on an island with a friend -Being stuck on an island with 5 acquaintances
the acquaintances. I will turn them into 5 friends. =)
9. Name three aspects that tell who you are. aspects? o.0
10. If you could have a power what would it be? More cleverness.
11. Who was the last person you talked to? My sis?
12. Who was the last person you said "I love you" to? ??
13. Write down the first five words that pop into your head. 1. Banana! 2. Shiro 3. Watch 4. Handphone 5. iPod human
14. What's one thing you wish you could do better? Sch.
15. Do you like the way you are? Yeah.
16. Choose, summer or winter: Summer.
17. Rain or snow? Snow... IT RAWKS!
18. Water or ice? Ice.
19. List two odd things about yourself.
1. I have withdrawal symptons every time I don't disturb Ren Da. 2. I'm very weird...
20. Which are two of your bad habits? How would I noe?
21. What's 1 of your biggest pet peeve? Being lazy...
Now list 6 people who should do this quiz: -En Quan -Nicholas -Francis -Tristen -Bok Woon -Jacob
3.list 15 ppl u have mind now 1. Francis 2. Nicholas 3. Anirudh 4. Justin 5. Yu Lian 6. Joel 7. Shuai Chen 8. Tristen 9. Jacob 10. Kian Meng 11. Darren 12. Kokul 13. Deon 14. Ren Da 15. Wei Lian
have u ever hugged 1? (francis)WHY WOULD I WANT TO HUG FRANCIS!? lols...
What's the best memories you have of 10? (kian Meng) sitting next to him and answering his questions about science, maths, english... practically everything.
why are you friends with 9? (Jacob) Bcause he's friendly enough to talk 2 me.
when's the next time you're gonna see 6? (joel) erm... tomorrow in school?
Tell something juicy about number 15? (Wei Lian) He's annoying. VERY annoying.
What do you like about 8? (Tristen) very fun loving, I guess. ;)
Is number 4 attractive? (Justin) Well, because of CHERRYLLLL, I think so. ;p
What was your first impression of 7? (Shuai Chen) BEIJING OLYMPICS!!!!
How did you meet 3? (Anirudh) In class? -_-!!
Do you think 13 could kill someone? (Deon) He's too cute and lovely and innocent...
Is 11 your best friend? (Darren) He's quite a nice guy, considering that he sent me home today...
Have you ever kissed 5? (YU LIAN!!!) WHY WILL I EVER WANT TO KISS YULIAN!?
Do you think 2 has a crush on you? (Nicholas) He's straight...
Who do you spend the most time with? Nicholas.
What is the last thing you did with 1? (Francis) He come and distrub me for some random thing, then I disturb him back...
Have you ever hung out with 2 outside of school? (Nicholas) Not really...
Have you ever slept with 5? (YU LIAN AGAIN!!!)WTH! I'm straight, ok?
Do you think 6 is sexy? (Joel) If I say no, my CCA points go down the drain, but if I say yes, Joel might kill me. How to choose...
Have you ever liked 7? (Shuai Chen) AS A FRIEND (nothing more, ok?), yes.
Where is the last place you went with 8? (Tristen) Scout meeting?
Are you real close to 9? (Jacob) Not exactly...
What kind of relationship do you have with 10? (Kian Meng) A rather good one.
Would you ever kiss 11? (Darren) NEVER!!!
Have you ever been to the movies with 12? (kokul) lols... never
Have you ever gotton in trouble with 13? (Deon) As I said eariler, he's too cute and lovely...
would you ever make a move on 14? (REN DA!!!) NEVAAA!!!
what do you and 15 talk about the most? (Wei Lian) I hardly met him... ask Yu Lian if he ever remembers us talking.
lols... today was very wacky. I didn't exactly know what I was doing.
Mrs Wong went through the 2005 maths paper today, and I didn't do so well.
sianz. I've been putting in quite alot of effort into maths, and this is the kind of results I get? What happened to 'nil sine labore'? *cry* =(
Then after school, since I had abt 1hr time before my lit. lesson, I went to D&T workshop to hand up my mobile.
And guess what? At the CRUCIAL moment, the stupid thing got entangled up! I had to cut out the string and re-tie it. But fortunately, I handed it up le; now its OVER AND DONE WITH! w00ts!
Overall, today was rather bad, with my freakish maths results and the mobile. I feel seriously very spooked for my maths; its like 4 days away, and I'm still getting this kind of horrible marks!
If I totally slacked for my maths, then of course I deserve those horrible results; but guess what, I DIDN'T! So why on Earth is life sooo unfair! Is 'nil sine labore' a piece of trash, a piece of claptrap, rubbish, baloney?
What's wrong with me? Why do I feel like this? I'm a lumfan now...
No more lum in the class Can't even think about it Nothing heard, nothing said Can't even speak about it We can't live without lum Don't want to think about it Feels like I love lum... Yeah
It's a thief in the night To come and grab you It can creep up inside you And consume you A disease of the mind It can control you It's too close for comfort
Look at how lum sits We're in the city of wonder Ain't gonna play nice Watch out, you might just go under Better think twice Your train of thought will be altered So if you must faulter be wise Your mind is in weiming It's like the darkness is the light lumbia Am I scaring you tonight Your mind is in lumbia Ain't used to what you like lumbia lumbia
Faded pictures of lum It's like they talkin' to me Disconnectin' phone calls The phone don't even ring I gotta get out Or figure this shit out It's too close for comfort
It's a thief in the night To come and grab you It can creep up inside you And consume you A disease of the mind It can control you I feel like a monster
Look at how lum sits We're in the city of wonder Ain't gonna play nice Watch out, you might just go under Better think twice Your train of thought will be altered So if you must faulter be wise Your mind is in weiming It's like the darkness is the light lumbia don't sit like weiming Your mind is in lumbia love the lumbroigini lumbia
Get me into lum I'm trying to remain tame But I'm struggling You can't go, go, go I think I'm going to oh, oh, oh
And there you have it. The lum theme song!
Note: Ren Jie will not be blamed for horrible, unmatching, difficult to sing lyrics, because he 'chionged' this thing out in about 10 minutes. lum, renjie, nicholas tay, and this blog will not be responsible for any accident, loss of life (e.g. singing this while crossing the road) or injury caused by this song. (e.g. singing so horribly that the glass shatters on you)
SUMMARY: DON'T BLAME ME FOR YOUR TROUBLES!
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
random
/7:45 PM
Time passes very fast, and tomorrow is a sch day again... sianzz...
Anyways, EOYs are next week... and its a nagging issue in my head... Sometimes I wish that they will push the EOYs forward, so we can get over with it ASAP. ;p
Anyways, I just realised how ugly people are, how ugly they can be. I have an example sitting next to me, the person watching the TV, the person...
ARGH. This is random emo stuff. But I'm feeling quite disappointed with that person anyways.
Robots is showing on TV now and I wish one of my family members was like a character in the show. (no names, 'cause I don't want to offend or hurt anyone)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ i seriously wonder why people constantly reject God. This may be just some religious crap to you, but its has been in my mind for the past few weeks. These people can give gambling, cutting themselves a chance in their lives...
But why not give God a chance? If you cna give buying 4D a chance, why not God?
